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Washington Women’s Heritage Project records, 1900-2000 
University of Washington Libraries Special Collections 
Lindsay Buxton 
April 24, 1996 
Cassette 5, Side 2 
 
 
Lindsay Buxton  00:03 
Sonny said that the chanting would prevent a harsh pain. So as I'm running up the escalator-- I 
was a front office secretary for public relations department of Kaiser Aluminum, and I'm 
chanting this card, Namu Myōhō Renge Kyō, Namu Myōhō Renge Kyō. And I spoiled this 
works, you know, because I was scared. I just knew that I was going to lose my job. Well, it so 
happened that day. All the big rigs of the public relations were in a meeting. And I said, Oh, I 
forgot. Oh, thank you, thank you. And I called the operator to get all the messages, you know, for 
the officers. I had just finished getting the messages off the-- from the operator, and the 
conference door opened, and one by one, the officers came out, and all I had to do was hand 
them the pink slips of California [?Legal?]. They didn't even know I was gone. They didn't miss 
me.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  01:14 
Amazing. 
 
Lindsay Buxton  01:14 
So anyway, I was telling Sonny, I said, I'm gonna keep this card. Well, I didn't look at the card 
again until just about, maybe six or eight months after that, when Sonny and I broke up, and I left 
him in San Francisco, and the kids and I went back to Seattle, and I went to a Buddhist meeting. 
Well, that's been 25 years ago. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  01:41 
That's amazing [inaudible]. Yeah, and it gives you strength?  
 
Lindsay Buxton  01:41 
Yes, it does. I have to work for that strength, and because it-- it's hard in the fact that I had to let 
go of a lot of Christian philosophy, but I've overcome that. I really credit my strength, my own 
[inaudible] if you will, my own Human Revolution, which is an ongoing process to my Buddhist 
practice. Some people are inspired. Some people think I'm Super Squaw. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  02:37 
Super Squaw, I've never heard that one. 
 
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Lindsay Buxton  02:38 
The origin? Oh, some [inaudible] Superwoman, Super Squaw. Now squaw, to some-- some types 
is a negative word, to others, squaw just simply means woman. They don't really mean... 
 
Debbie Guerrero  02:55 
Any disrespect? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  02:56 
Disrespect, mm-hmm. But I always equate who I am with, you know, my Buddhist practice. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  03:13 
Would you like to discuss your later years, things like menopause? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  03:24 
Okay.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  03:27 
What were your activity-- oh, excuse me, what were your feelings towards menopause, or did 
you have any physiological problems? And if so, how did they affect your personal and/or work-
life and... Hysterectomy. Have you ever had a hysterectomy? If it's not too personal, if it is, I 
understand.  
 
Lindsay Buxton  03:52 
No. No, no. This is a woman's [?project?]. I didn't expect to go through menopause until I was 
like 55, 65. Sonny and I married just a month before I turned 28, so I thought I still had a good, 
you know, child bearing years, you know, together, and Sonny and I wanted to expand our 
family from, you know, the children I had. We lived in San Francisco, and, of course, I was 
excited about my new marriage. I had just left the occupation of Fort Lawton, the Convention of 
the National Congress of American Indians in Reno, Nevada, and I was-- my head was just in a 
cloud. I was ecstatic about moving to San Francisco, helping my son-- my husband, who at times 
was like a son, but [laughs]. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  04:59 
[Inaudible] that.  
 
Lindsay Buxton  05:02 
Yeah. Helping him with his career, and excited about looking for a place to live. I wasn't 
menstruating, so I just knew that I was pregnant. I was ecstatic, and I went to the doctor and 
learned that I wasn't pregnant. The doctor had told me that I was going through an early 
menopause. I was shocked. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  05:37 
At 28.  
 
Lindsay Buxton  05:37 
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And that doctor had said that it was typical for Indian women to go through early menopause, 
especially if she had children as young as I did. And if you recall, my first child was born when I 
was 15. I'm now 28, you know, this happened. Shortly after that doctor's visit, he gave me some 
estrogen and progesterone, because, come to think of it, I did have hot flashes. I would-- I 
thought I had the flu [laughs]. Mother, I know, never really talked to me about her experience, or 
I don't even know if she even experienced it at that time, because Mother was still fairly young 
herself, so I didn't really know what to expect. I would wake up drenched. My husband was 
really very concerned, we didn't know what on earth was happening to me. The progesterone and 
estrogen therapy did work, but it devastated me that my childbearing days were over. I had been 
very careful not to drink, not to smoke, to keep my body as as clean and pure as possible, 
because I was still in my childbearing years, and-- mind you, I'm still a Catholic. And we did-- 
we tried to practice rhythm control, obviously for my other two children, I-- the rhythm was not 
very good. I was devastated. I went through another depression over that, but we adjusted... So, 
that is my experience. No, I haven't had a hysterectomy. I have been fairly healthy. You know, 
knock on wood. I'm strong lady.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  07:57 
Yes, you are. 
 
Lindsay Buxton  08:00 
So no, no. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  08:07 
Let's talk about, let me see, family?  
 
Lindsay Buxton  08:13 
Yeah. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  08:15 
With family, how is your family time spent now? Do you have-- what time do you spend with 
your grandchildren? If so, when and what do you do with them? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  08:29 
My daughter has married for the second time. She lives in Yakima. I rarely see her, and she has 
given me four grandchildren. My oldest is 18, from my daughter Susie, and then my youngest 
grandson is five. They come on special holidays. We take a lot of pictures. We go to Chinatown 
for dinner. They make like toursists in Seattle. My other son, Reynaldo, has two beautiful 
daughters. They're four and five years old now. They're very active with their ballet classes. 
They go to school, a special school in Lynnwood. My daughter-in-law works as an accountant 
for a prestigious law firm at the Columbia building. My son is a metro bus driver. He [?fit?] the 
Air Force Reserves. He's a jet mechanic. He's going back to college himself, so I don't really see 
that much.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  09:54 
Busy lives.  
 
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Lindsay Buxton  09:55 
Yes, we're all busy. We are in contact on a weekly basis, because, you know, my youngest son is 
dying of cancer. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  10:05 
Yes, Harpo? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  10:06 
Yes. I want to sound callous, but life is going on, and I think Harpo even encourages, you know, 
we don't stop our lives. I'm still involved with the Alaska Native Sisterhood, planning their 
traditional blanket ceremony for students of the School of Medicine, the UW Raven's Feast. I 
spent as much time as we can with my younger son. It's very ironic that this project is going on 
now, because I had just had to finish a 40 page history of our family for my son.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  10:56 
Oh, I didn't know that.  
 
Lindsay Buxton  10:57 
Yeah. It's very ironic I've got all of this, so this has been kind of an addendum. My sisters, my 
two kid sisters, one lives in Jackpot, Nevada. She has four children herself. My other kid sister, 
that's Ruby. Other kid sister, Dolores, she has five children. She's in Oakland, California. My 
sister Dorothy, that lives in Bellingham, all of her children are mature, off and married. You 
know, she has grandchildren herself. My other sister, Juanita, lives in Ketchikan. She had a 
mastectomy. I understand that she thinks that her cancer has-- is out of remission again, and she's 
going to be coming to Seattle for a continuing test. I'm hoping that she will live with me while 
she undergoes those tests. I write to my family that live outside of state almost on a weekly basis, 
and it didn't used to be that frequent, but since my phone long-distance privileges [laughs] has 
been put on hold-- 
 
Debbie Guerrero  12:28 
Understood--  
 
Lindsay Buxton  12:29 
It's forced me to do a lot of writing. It's a blessing in disguise. We're close. We're separate, but 
we're close. We keep in touch. I think because of our background, we appreciate one another's, 
you know, space. We try to respect one another as we would friends.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  13:02 
That's good. 
 
Lindsay Buxton  13:02 
Yeah. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  13:03 
That's a good way to do it.  
 
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Lindsay Buxton  13:04 
Yeah, it's hard. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  13:07 
It is hard, isn't it? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  13:12 
Yes it is. Yes, yeah. Memorial Day is coming. Almost [?read?] this time of year, my mother goes 
into a grieving spell over the death of her last husband and my kid brother, Howard Lindsay, and 
one that I forgot to tell you about was my 17 year old brother Andrew Jr. who committed suicide 
when he was 17. I'm not sure if I did tell you this or not, but when he was like, 10 years old, he 
was playing with his best friend. This is in Chinatown. His best friend's father was a white 
policeman, and the young boy had borrowed his father's gun. They were playing cops and 
robbers. To make a long story short. When it came time for my kid brother to to be the 
policeman, he shot and killed his best friend. The gun was loaded. I was in California when this 
happened. I understand it made headlines, and there was quite a pitch, you know, for gun control, 
and, you know, the police department, or, you know, got all in-- gall-- all involved, and this 
devastated my kid brother, of course, and my mother. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  14:45 
Of course. 
 
Lindsay Buxton  14:46 
And my brother had been in mental institutions. Had been released less than a year when I 
returned back to Seattle. My mother and my 17 year old brother were drinking, and words were 
said, and my brother was reminded of his pain, and he went downstairs to my stepfather's 
apartment and took the shotgun down, and put it in his mouth and blew his brains out. I had just 
moved into a house on Linden Avenue in the Green Lake District. Heard that and was-- had 
friends staying with me at that time, and we all rushed down to be with my mother and father. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  15:46 
Didn't you just say it happened when you were in California, though? Did you find out about that 
after? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  15:50 
Yeah-- no, when my kid brother killed his best friend. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  15:55 
Oh, I see.  
 
Lindsay Buxton  15:55 
He was 10 years old, and I was living in California at that time. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  16:00 
Oh, I see. I understand. Wow. 
 
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Lindsay Buxton  16:01 
Yeah. Anyway, it's Memorial Day, and it's just something that you-- we have to go through. 
What-- well, just marveling at my own strength. I remember wanting to see my brother, and the 
policeman was guarding, you know, downstairs, and he said, I wouldn't advise, you know, going 
in. It was quite obvious that the policeman was a little shaken up and not very comfortable about 
his station to guard, you know, that area. And I said, That's all right. I'm his sister. It really wasn't 
all right. I was nervous and I didn't really want to see, but I had to see, and I saw my brother. My 
brother had a strong identity with being an Indian. Obviously, not so much spiritually, otherwise 
he wouldn't have committed him-- you know, committed suicide. But he had jet black, long hair, 
and I looked up in the ceiling, and part of his skull was on the ceiling with his jet black hair 
hanging down, and I looked down at my brother. I marvel at my own strength. I did not cry. I 
mean, I gasp, yes. A tragedy, yes. I had to be strong. My mother and father were upstairs 
screaming, accusing one another of killing their son, you know? I mean, I could hear all that in 
the background, and I had a sense about my brother. I told him, I wish you hadn't done that. I 
wish you hadn't been drinking. I told him that I was going to miss him very much. He had a dog. 
His collie. Dog's name was Lucky. That night, we took my mother and stepfather to come and 
live with me in my new house on Linden Avenue, and we tried to get my brother's dog, but my-- 
Lucky didn't want to come. He just didn't want to come. He ran away from us. Dogs [laughs]. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  18:47 
Oh, good, another dog story. 
 
Lindsay Buxton  18:53 
After we had cremated my brother, we had the memorial services, and my mother and stepfather 
situated in my house. I was alone. They had gone shopping at the public market stuff, and I was 
by the fireplace, and I heard this great big knock on the door. And I thought, Gee, they're back 
early. And I went to the door and there wasn't anybody there. Wow, I'm hearing things. I went 
back to-- I was cutting articles out of the newspaper. I went back, and then I had sat down, was 
comfortable, and there was another knock at the door. I went out, and I said, okay, the kids are 
playing tricks on me. And I look both to, you know, the left and the right side of the house, and I 
didn't hear any, you know, shuffling or no children. And I said, Oh, I think-- now, I'm going 
crazy now. I sat down again, and there was this knock, a definitely man's knock on the door. So 
the third time, I said, Okay, what is it? And I just stood at the door, and I-- baffled, and I looked 
around, I think I stayed there like maybe two or three minutes, and a block and-a-half away, I 
thought I saw my brother's dog. I said, Oh, it can't be, because Lucky had never been. He had 
never been to my house. Lucky stayed with my mother and brother on Massachusetts, this is all 
on Beacon Hill, okay? 
 
Debbie Guerrero  20:44 
Right, I know where that is, right. That's a long way from Linden Avenue on Greenwood-- by 
Greenlake. 
 
Lindsay Buxton  20:50 
When he got half a block-- I'm nearsighted. I recognized, that's my brother's dog, and I said, 
Lucky! And he was wagging his, you know, behind, and my mouth just dropped open. Lucky 
came up, and I'm kissing and hugging this smelly, dirty dog. Just baffled, you know, and I went 
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to give him some water and some leftovers, and he ate, and I sat in front of the fireplace just 
watching him. And then he satisfies himself, and we look eye to eye. And I said, Brother? Lucky 
was just lapping me up, just kissing me, wagging his tail, and I hugged Lucky. My brother told 
me not to worry. He was okay. We let-- I let Lucky go downstairs, and when my mother and his 
stepfather came, they said-- they reported to me that they were looking for Brother's dog. And I 
said, you don't have to look anymore. He's here. Said, How could he, he's never been here 
before? I said, I know, but he is here. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  22:40 
That's amazing how dogs find you hundreds of miles away and, you know, miles away from 
them. You know? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  22:46 
Yeah.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  22:49 
I have to ask you something that I don't think I asked you earlier, and that was about your-- you 
know, as a young woman, what were your expectations of marriage? Did you have expectations, 
or? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  23:02 
Oh yes, I definitely had expectations [laughs]. I expected to be rescued by a knight in shining 
armor and to live happily ever after. I had suffered the Cinderella syndrome [laughs]. I had told 
you earlier in one of my tapes, since then, I've always been advising young women that I come in 
contact with that, even if you fall in love and you get married, please don't give up your own 
goals and aspirations.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  23:35 
Too right. Absolutely.  
 
Lindsay Buxton  23:35 
I don't want to sound like a bitter old woman, but [laughs]-- 
 
Debbie Guerrero  23:41 
I'll second that. 
 
Lindsay Buxton  23:41 
Instead of dogs finding me, rich men don't come my way, it looks like I'm gonna be the one to 
rescue myself. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  23:52 
That's funny [coughs]. If you could sum up your life in a few phrases, what would you say, 
Lindsay Buxton? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  24:05 
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I would say that despite the many sorrows, obstacles in her life, she survived. And since she's 
still living, she will continue to survive. She draws on her childhood experiences. She's taken 
mental notes to be the activist that she is. I don't really like referring to myself that much in the 
first person, but... Because there was so much domestic violence, pain, I'm very concerned about 
domestic laws today. Because I was sexually abused, I'm an advocate for protecting children of 
sexual abuse and prevention. One thing that I will say about marriage expectations. As a child, I 
had thought that there should even be a laws for people that are contemplating marriage, to take 
parenting, to take budgeting, economics for both men and women. I think that there needs to be a 
lot more domestic laws protecting women. To sum up my whole life again, it's despite the many 
obstacles before me, I've endured with courage. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  26:03 
How would you like to be remembered? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  26:07 
As being [laughs] a spiritually bright, beautiful Indian woman with a cause. Yeah. 
 
Debbie Guerrero  26:19 
Is there anything I didn't ask you that you wish I had? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  26:25 
I had wished that you had asked, of my three marriages with Mandapat, Buxton, and Skan, why I 
chose to remain, you know, a Buxton? 
 
Debbie Guerrero  26:40 
And what's that reason? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  26:43 
[Laughs] Oh, I had to narrate. My first marriage, although a very, very loving, was very hard, 
because both my husband, I had to endure a lot of psychological battles. That was painful. 
Outside of my three beautiful children, memories of that and the falling out with the Mandapat 
family. Skan is another marriage-- a part of my life that I really can't deny, but even in that pain, 
I don't wish, you know, to carry on that family name. Buxton, I left Sonny loving and respecting 
him. He was an only child. He endured a lot. He had a lot of strength. He brought out a lot of 
strength and introduced me to a whole different world. I'm very proud of being a Buxton. My 
first name now is something else. I'm-- was born Lolita. I didn't like that name because of the 
book Lolita that had an affair with her father [laughs], and I had been called Dolly as a child. 
Grade school, I was-- I insisted not to be called Dolly anymore. Went to Lee in the Filipino 
community, I was called [?Lolayin?]. In the Spanish community, I was called Lola. Lola kind of 
stuck. With my immediate family, my mother still calls me 'Lita.  
 
Debbie Guerrero  28:37 
Do you like that?  
 
Lindsay Buxton  28:38 
I like that. It's kind of cute.  
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Debbie Guerrero  28:40 
Yeah, I like that. 
 
Lindsay Buxton  28:41 
Yeah. At my father's deathbed, he said that he just regretted he didn't have a son to carry on his 
family name. And silly me, I said, Well, I will do it. But-- 
 
Debbie Guerrero  28:57 
How'd that make you feel? 
 
Lindsay Buxton  29:00 
Not very good, but I understood where he was coming from. I was looking for a good real name 
anyway, and I-- Lindsay kind of had an air of sophistication. And in my political world, it 
seemed hard for the people that I had to associate with as taking a Lola seriously. Everybody 
wanted to party and hardy, you know? Lola goes-- party hardy. So when I announced to the 
community I was no longer a Lola, but a Lindsay. I liked the name. I liked it, especially after 
Lindsay Wagner made it, you know, popular. And Lindsay-- I wanted to keep Buxton in-- [tape 
cuts off]. 